May 15, 2009
It’s late, I just got home from watching Star Trek, and I have to get up in just over 5 hours.  However I felt the need to post my thoughts (who knows who will hear it) concerning this $20 Imax experience in which I certainly want at least half back.Star Trek the move (2009) was a mediocre to decent action blow’em up film at best and perhaps the worst Star Trek movie at worst.  That’s right, I’d much rather watch TNG based Insurrection or Nemesis than go through this film again.  The worst part was perhaps the gross amount of CGI and action/explosion scenes. A close second was the cinematographer who must of had only a zoom lens and a tripod with a broken leg. It felt like Transformers, however somewhat more redeemable.  Perhaps this is a situation where watching it in the Imax was a poor move since the action was so intense it overshadowed any highlights.The way the film starts out is unlike most (but not all) Star Trek movies and episodes.  Mass amounts of action and explosion in pure melodramatic fashion.  I felt thrusted into a confusing and over stimulated experience.  We then turn to two very very short lived life scenes of Kirk and Spock at both pre-teen and pre-starfleet academy eras.  Both could have been rather entertaining, but just as we started to warm up to their characters, we’d jump 15 or 3 years over the good development.  They are thrusted into commanding positions which just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, in real life or Star Trek life, and begin their ever exploding set of events.Listen, I’m a huge Star Trek fan.  I always have been since I was a kid and my Mother and I would watch it every late night.  I haven’t revisited the original series in years, but I’m re-watching TNG for like the 12th time, seen DS9 through about 10 times, and just finished Voyager for about the 8th time.  Oh, and the ever so criticized Enterprise (which got it dead on but unfortunately at the end of it’s lifespan) at least 6 times through.  And while the original Star Trek cast movies also haven’t been revisited often recently, I’m still a huge fan of Generations and First Contact, and hell, I’ll watch Insurrection and Nemesis if it’s on TV, considering it as just a double episode and not a movie.  Point being, I love Star Trek and I’ll even sift through the bad ones in knowledge that it make the story complete.So we’ve established that the film is action packed, mostly visually.  Quick cut scenes, overly close-up head shots, truncated character developments, confusing protagonists, and non-Star Trek-esque style gave to this film’s failure.  I at this point need to gripe with the last comment (along with some just…uh what the hell moments). Some spoilers may follow, however I will make them vague enough as to not ruin watching the film:1. What is with the Romulan ship from the future having self-boring torpedoes.  I’ve never seen those before…ever!  Sure, by the time they reappear later in the film, they could create them, and sure they are from the future, so they’re stronger than most ships (hell a basic plasma weapon from a transport ship from 150 years in the future could destroy the old Enterprise) but in the first scene, come on!  Make the battle a little more difficult for them, then they can have time to perfect their weaponry and I’ll bite.2. What is with the Romulans.  This must have been taken from a page out of Nemesis where Piccard’s clone and his subordinates (a Romulan faction of some kind) are wearing this weird jumpsuit and have this odd ship that looks like it came from the other dimension from the movie Sphere.  They do not look nor do they act as the Romulans I grew to loath.  Shaved heads and tattoos can be forgiven for a miner crew if not for the fact that the Romulans had never deviated from their formal presentation in the TV series.3. Spock’s mother was blonde…and she certainly wasn’t played by the still young Winona Ryder.  His father was a dead on though.4. The whole basis of the story and the motive of the Romulan’s never made any sense and they never really tried to explain it.  Sure, their anger could have been misdirected at Spock, but why was the Federation to blame?!!5. What the hell was Uhura doing with her choice of intimate male.  I don’t want to ruin to much, but where the hell did they get that coupling?! (I suppose I could be missing something from early episodes/movies but I don’t recall it).6. How can a little shuttle make up light speed to the Enterprise doing max warp in time to do a warp to warp transport?7. What’s with the “Warning” texts that appear over the viewscreen?  It so obvious that it was for the audience and not the crew.  Same goes for Spock’s ship giving warning stating in very laymen’s terms what will likely happen if this and this happens.  I’d much prefer subtitles.  I never needed those handicaps to understand shit’s going down before, just decent dialogue.8. There was no conference on what to do in the ready room, no plan really made, no exchanging of ideas among senior staff.  Just bickering, fighting, and action!  Not the intellectual exchange of ideas Star Trek has grown to express. 9. There was ZERO investigations on humanity, philosophy, or equality.  Everything that Rodenberry envisioned was all but vanquished, in place of some blockbuster-popcorn-summer flick.  Sickening! 10. Does anyone making the movie know anyting about black holes?  I know Star Trek gets physics wrong a lot, but while they were near the event horizon for so long, the Federation would have been extinct by the time they exited. 11.  Ok, so space time may or may not have been disturbed here ;-).  But if it was, and it changed the timeline significantly, all of us Star Trek geeks know that the Temporal Directive would not have stood for it (especially if it significantly altered the Federation) and one of those ‘out of time monitoring ships’ would have came and corrected any major discrepancies at the end of the film.  This was my #2 pet peeve.12. And the #1…Where was the love?  I don’t mean sex or romance, but there was no heart to this movie.  Just another formula for a franchise.Ultimately, if they wanted to do an ‘origins’ film, I’m all for that.  However, like many other origin films for first films of famous cartoons, comics, or series, they were rushed.  Batman Begins as the first example.  While showing Bruce Wayne’s growth to Batman is counterintuitive on how his history is unfolded in the comics, it could have been a very involved movie in itself.  But they then had to rush a whole other plot in the second half where he’s wearing a bat suit and fighting crime.  Then they redo a perfect Tim Burton and Jack Nicholson movie, luckily they hit it out of the park.  X-Men and Spiderman also have to do the how-to creation story and still find time to fight an evil villain.  Both do well, but both continue to fade with each successive movie.  Iron Man follows and does a surprising amount of back story in the first part of the movie, then quickly changes gears to good ‘ol regular Iron Man.  My vote goes to Iron Man for orchestrating so much in the first film of a franchise.  With Star Trek however, we not only have so many movies of the Kirk generation, but many many episodes.  We know so much about them already, so I had hoped that they’d take this time and just focused on how they became them without throwing them into the commanding of the Enterprise.  For once I’d like to see a franchise (either new or reinvented) spend the first movie on just the ‘beginnings’ of the characters.  Just because we know they grow into something so much more doesn’t mean we don’t nor won’t sit through 2 hours to see in detail how they got there.  History is sometimes the most interesting element of our present.Bonus, my two favorite things:1. I’m glad they put one of Kirk’s GF’s (or one night stands) in.  Not just because we saw a busty girl in her undies, but because she was an all green Orion.  Very cool.2. Karl Urban’s portrayel of ‘Bones’ McCoy was hands down the best character recreation.  Zachary Quinto’s Spock was perhaps the worst (though not awful). Overall it’s stunning how it received a 96% positive review on Rotten Tomatoes and how we as a culture will base a film on how it’s visually appealing and let the content ride that tidal wave.  Star Trek fan’s should be insulted if not for the fact that the commercial success may have saved Star Trek movies.  I still want to see DS9, Voyager, and TNG movies (especially to know what happens with the new Data) but that will never happen, at least not as what we know as Star Trek.  The name will probably be forever tarnished.

It’s late, I just got home from watching Star Trek, and I have to get up in just over 5 hours.  However I felt the need to post my thoughts (who knows who will hear it) concerning this $20 Imax experience in which I certainly want at least half back.

Star Trek the move (2009) was a mediocre to decent action blow’em up film at best and perhaps the worst Star Trek movie at worst.  That’s right, I’d much rather watch TNG based Insurrection or Nemesis than go through this film again.  The worst part was perhaps the gross amount of CGI and action/explosion scenes. A close second was the cinematographer who must of had only a zoom lens and a tripod with a broken leg. It felt like Transformers, however somewhat more redeemable.  Perhaps this is a situation where watching it in the Imax was a poor move since the action was so intense it overshadowed any highlights.

The way the film starts out is unlike most (but not all) Star Trek movies and episodes.  Mass amounts of action and explosion in pure melodramatic fashion.  I felt thrusted into a confusing and over stimulated experience.  We then turn to two very very short lived life scenes of Kirk and Spock at both pre-teen and pre-starfleet academy eras.  Both could have been rather entertaining, but just as we started to warm up to their characters, we’d jump 15 or 3 years over the good development.  They are thrusted into commanding positions which just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, in real life or Star Trek life, and begin their ever exploding set of events.

Listen, I’m a huge Star Trek fan.  I always have been since I was a kid and my Mother and I would watch it every late night.  I haven’t revisited the original series in years, but I’m re-watching TNG for like the 12th time, seen DS9 through about 10 times, and just finished Voyager for about the 8th time.  Oh, and the ever so criticized Enterprise (which got it dead on but unfortunately at the end of it’s lifespan) at least 6 times through.  And while the original Star Trek cast movies also haven’t been revisited often recently, I’m still a huge fan of Generations and First Contact, and hell, I’ll watch Insurrection and Nemesis if it’s on TV, considering it as just a double episode and not a movie.  Point being, I love Star Trek and I’ll even sift through the bad ones in knowledge that it make the story complete.

So we’ve established that the film is action packed, mostly visually.  Quick cut scenes, overly close-up head shots, truncated character developments, confusing protagonists, and non-Star Trek-esque style gave to this film’s failure.  I at this point need to gripe with the last comment (along with some just…uh what the hell moments). Some spoilers may follow, however I will make them vague enough as to not ruin watching the film:

1. What is with the Romulan ship from the future having self-boring torpedoes.  I’ve never seen those before…ever!  Sure, by the time they reappear later in the film, they could create them, and sure they are from the future, so they’re stronger than most ships (hell a basic plasma weapon from a transport ship from 150 years in the future could destroy the old Enterprise) but in the first scene, come on!  Make the battle a little more difficult for them, then they can have time to perfect their weaponry and I’ll bite.

2. What is with the Romulans.  This must have been taken from a page out of Nemesis where Piccard’s clone and his subordinates (a Romulan faction of some kind) are wearing this weird jumpsuit and have this odd ship that looks like it came from the other dimension from the movie Sphere.  They do not look nor do they act as the Romulans I grew to loath.  Shaved heads and tattoos can be forgiven for a miner crew if not for the fact that the Romulans had never deviated from their formal presentation in the TV series.

3. Spock’s mother was blonde…and she certainly wasn’t played by the still young Winona Ryder.  His father was a dead on though.

4. The whole basis of the story and the motive of the Romulan’s never made any sense and they never really tried to explain it.  Sure, their anger could have been misdirected at Spock, but why was the Federation to blame?!!

5. What the hell was Uhura doing with her choice of intimate male.  I don’t want to ruin to much, but where the hell did they get that coupling?! (I suppose I could be missing something from early episodes/movies but I don’t recall it).

6. How can a little shuttle make up light speed to the Enterprise doing max warp in time to do a warp to warp transport?

7. What’s with the “Warning” texts that appear over the viewscreen?  It so obvious that it was for the audience and not the crew.  Same goes for Spock’s ship giving warning stating in very laymen’s terms what will likely happen if this and this happens.  I’d much prefer subtitles.  I never needed those handicaps to understand shit’s going down before, just decent dialogue.

8. There was no conference on what to do in the ready room, no plan really made, no exchanging of ideas among senior staff.  Just bickering, fighting, and action!  Not the intellectual exchange of ideas Star Trek has grown to express.

9. There was ZERO investigations on humanity, philosophy, or equality.  Everything that Rodenberry envisioned was all but vanquished, in place of some blockbuster-popcorn-summer flick.  Sickening!

10. Does anyone making the movie know anyting about black holes?  I know Star Trek gets physics wrong a lot, but while they were near the event horizon for so long, the Federation would have been extinct by the time they exited.

11.  Ok, so space time may or may not have been disturbed here ;-).  But if it was, and it changed the timeline significantly, all of us Star Trek geeks know that the Temporal Directive would not have stood for it (especially if it significantly altered the Federation) and one of those ‘out of time monitoring ships’ would have came and corrected any major discrepancies at the end of the film.  This was my #2 pet peeve.

12. And the #1…Where was the love?  I don’t mean sex or romance, but there was no heart to this movie.  Just another formula for a franchise.

Ultimately, if they wanted to do an ‘origins’ film, I’m all for that.  However, like many other origin films for first films of famous cartoons, comics, or series, they were rushed.  Batman Begins as the first example.  While showing Bruce Wayne’s growth to Batman is counterintuitive on how his history is unfolded in the comics, it could have been a very involved movie in itself.  But they then had to rush a whole other plot in the second half where he’s wearing a bat suit and fighting crime.  Then they redo a perfect Tim Burton and Jack Nicholson movie, luckily they hit it out of the park.  X-Men and Spiderman also have to do the how-to creation story and still find time to fight an evil villain.  Both do well, but both continue to fade with each successive movie.  Iron Man follows and does a surprising amount of back story in the first part of the movie, then quickly changes gears to good ‘ol regular Iron Man.  My vote goes to Iron Man for orchestrating so much in the first film of a franchise.  With Star Trek however, we not only have so many movies of the Kirk generation, but many many episodes.  We know so much about them already, so I had hoped that they’d take this time and just focused on how they became them without throwing them into the commanding of the Enterprise.  For once I’d like to see a franchise (either new or reinvented) spend the first movie on just the ‘beginnings’ of the characters.  Just because we know they grow into something so much more doesn’t mean we don’t nor won’t sit through 2 hours to see in detail how they got there.  History is sometimes the most interesting element of our present.

Bonus, my two favorite things:

1. I’m glad they put one of Kirk’s GF’s (or one night stands) in.  Not just because we saw a busty girl in her undies, but because she was an all green Orion.  Very cool.

2. Karl Urban’s portrayel of ‘Bones’ McCoy was hands down the best character recreation.  Zachary Quinto’s Spock was perhaps the worst (though not awful).

Overall it’s stunning how it received a 96% positive review on Rotten Tomatoes and how we as a culture will base a film on how it’s visually appealing and let the content ride that tidal wave.  Star Trek fan’s should be insulted if not for the fact that the commercial success may have saved Star Trek movies.  I still want to see DS9, Voyager, and TNG movies (especially to know what happens with the new Data) but that will never happen, at least not as what we know as Star Trek.  The name will probably be forever tarnished.

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